Be encouraged by small acts

Tumbling, scrambling, clawing, lunging, heaving, floating, tugged, dragged through Life. It's small acts that keep you grounded. Little things that prevent you from being washed away entirely by the rushing torrent. When kindness springs on you, it's like a breath of sweet air, a comforting sigh, a moment of resurgence that keeps you going. How often have you been ready to quit, to throw your hands up in despair, to bury your tears in your pillow, only to be encouraged by a random stranger, uplifted by a smile or hand on the shoulder? The simple acknowledgement of your struggle, effort, time, pain... a subtle hint of congratulation... the moment of empathy... the bursting of approval... the emergence of support and loyalty...  somehow these moments make it all worth it. Those are the moments to live for.

How small a piece of kindness it takes to wipe away a gray sky from your day! How spontaneous and effortless, compared to a whole day of drudgery. It's all it takes to cheer your mood and make you smile when everything has gone wrong. No, not necessarily gone wrong, but gone into routine. Day after day of work or struggle, the same events, the same thoughts... School for one quickly becomes a monotone of action and reaction and class and homework, but never forget to look for the small miracles- a compliment from a friend, a word of praise from your teacher, a simple second of eye contact from a complete stranger. You have to watch out for them, small flashes of silvery scales in the water, mullets darting by and daring you to reach out and catch them.

Three words were all it took for me to be reinvigorated with my writing, my imagination today. Thank you, stranger, for caring, for proving to me that it's all worth it, for reassuring me that my words aren't going to waste. Because life never should be- it's the little things that prove that.

Pop songs and relationships

Turn on the radio to a station you like. What do you hear? I don't even know what your music tastes are, but I bet the first song that you hear is a song about love or relationships. Nowadays that's just what most songs seem to be about- just about every aspect you can think of that deals with a relationship. I guess it makes sense, love is certainly something that everyone can relate to. And who doesn't like to listen to a song and pretend the girl (or guy) of their dreams is singing it to them, or imagine the lyrics were written specifically for their life? (And come on, don't tell me you've never looked up the lyrics to a song your crush referenced in his or her Facebook status before...)

(Que above song, Sparks Fly- Taylor Swift. Nice song review here.) The songs are catchy. Sometimes it makes me wish I was in a relationship, or imagine what it would be like my life was exactly as the songs described. Other times I'm just annoyed that there aren't many songs about other aspects of life that are just as important- friendship, family, struggle, independence, spirituality, etc. There ARE still good songs out there about those, just not as many. All in all, I have a forgiving taste in music- if a new song has fresh lyrics and nice chorus, I wouldn't care if it was the billionth song about love it the world. Granted, the one I like right now is old and recognizable, it's just I never remembered the song name and artist- Fall for You. When it comes to pop songs and relationships, what's your current favorite?

Be Confident

It was the week of try outs that were held for JV soccer at our school. I was an upcoming freshman, good but not a star on the field, and to be honest, I was a little bit nervous. Our JV consists of both 9th and 10th graders, and though I was friendly with most of the sophomores, I knew most of them were still stronger and faster than me. Try outs went pretty smoothly- passing, foundations, keep away, I held my own and was even looking pretty good. But I wanted to impress the coach during the scrimmage. We moved the goals in and divided into three teams that rotated in and out. My team went in first. I played pretty well, especially in front of the other team and our coach that was watching, but then came the defining moment. All I remember was that I beat a defender, cut to the right, was within shooting range of the goal... and then passed it to a teammate.

Whistle. Play stopped and everyone froze. (You ever get that moment of plummeting dread because you know you're in trouble? Yup, that was it right there.)

"Mr. Lee, why didn't you shoot the ball?" I was trying to think of an answer while everyone was looking on. I said something about my teammate having a better chance of scoring than I did.

"I asked you why you didn't shoot the ball." I said I didn't know.

 "You do want to score?" Yes, I mumbled.

 "So why didn't you shoot?" I was probably turning bright red but I tried to remain stone-faced- I thought of the most reasonable and honest answer I could. I told him I didn't shoot because I wasn't confident enough.

"You weren't confident enough," my coach repeated. "Then get off the field," he promptly said. I walked to the sideline and sat out for the rest of the scrimmage.

That's still the story I remember to this day. A lot of things in life take confidence- taking a standardized test under time pressure, competing in any sort of sport, playing music at a concert, performing a solo, going to an interview... the list goes on and on. It's another "skill" that has to be trained because most people, like me, aren't born with it. Being a striker with a lot of skill but no confidence doesn't lead to goals. Likewise, a striker with confidence but no skill to back it up just comes across as arrogant. My JV coach made me a better player- harsh on me during try outs, but teaching me a lot throughout the season. He taught me how to be aggressive but not nasty. Confident on the ball but not cocky. And as a striker, I learned, it was okay to take chances. Be risky and mess up a few times. I started to shoot more, from farther away, and at every chance that I got. Some were terrible, going way over the crossbar or driveling on the ground for an easy save. But some were good- I scored goals. "The shot that you never take has a 0% chance of going in," my coach told me. "So have confidence and shoot the ball."

I'm remembering all this because soccer season officially starts tomorrow for me. Sure, I'm still a bit nervous about going through tryouts (even though it's my returning year for Varsity), but being able to hang out with my teammates again makes it a lot better. For anyone else out there who's starting a Fall sport, or even if you're daunted by another year of school, just remember to have confidence. In soccer, it's the one thing I have to work most on. It's something to remember on- and off- the field.

Small Luxuries

For the past like 6 months, the passenger side door on one of our family cars always used to get stuck halfway through being opened. The plastic below was dented and so every time you got in, you had to only open the door half way and try to squeeze in, or tug the door until the plastic sort of snapped past the dent, which was a real pain. Well, the dent just got fixed today, and now every time I open the passenger side door I'm pleasantly surprised at how smooth it opens. It's funny, I never would have thought that having a working door on a car could be considered a luxury, but after 6 months of the dent it's awesome to go for a ride and not have to deal with the hassle of the door. 

I guess it's like a lot of other things, you get used to a minor annoyance in your life, but when it gets fixed or removed it comes as a gift rather than a "repair." That's what the fixed door feels like now to us. Small things like this that we never notice until it gets broken or in our way. A sticky door, a handle that doesn't turn, the light bulb that always flickers, the key on the keyboard that isn't sensitive enough, pop-up ads on your computer, a chair that wobbles... it makes you realize that we actually have a lot of small "luxuries" that we have in our daily life. 

Learning to Say No

There are a lot of little things in our daily lives that we could easily do without. Sometimes it's just a matter of learning how to say no. If you're anything like me, I try to please everyone around me. So much so that sometimes I forget to think about myself and my own responsibilities. If someone asks me a favor, I would likely drop whatever I'm doing to help them (or at least finish what I'm doing and then help them as soon as possible). If someone chats me on Facebook, I don't have the heart to tell them I was just about to log off, and so I keep up the conversation, using the same amount of energy to keep up the conversation as if they had chatted me when I had an hour of free time. "Hey, what's up? Good to see you too! I know, lol... *insert comments about random things that come to mind to keep the conversation flowing*"

So yeah. Learning to say no to certain things can be really helpful. And I'm not talking about saying no to drugs or the thing we learned in D.A.R.E. to say no to peer pressure (though seriously, say NO to drugs!! =].) It's smaller than that, and I find it's mostly self-pressure. For me, it's the pressure that if I say no, someone will be hurt or think less of me. But in actuality, that's not true at all. "Hey, do you want to go see a movie at noon today?" If I were faced with that from a friend and I ended up saying no, that friend might be a little bit disappointed, but they would probably still end up having a great time with some other friends. Same thing with the friend chatting with me on Facebook. If only I could say something like "Oops, I'm really sorry *name*, but I was about to log off. Catch you some other time?" then it would all be fine. I could get to doing what's important to me, and the friend will soon forget that tiny bit of rudeness.

I guess it's hardest to say no to your friends. (I was about to say that it is actually hardest to say no to yourself. But then I realized that's just self-control, which is a whole other topic =P) While sometimes saying no to your siblings lead to squabbles and conflicts, chances are they've lived around you enough to understand the reasons behind you saying no. With friends, they are mostly left guessing whether you said no because you don't want to talk to them, or if you really have something more urgent to do. So be a good friend and learn to say no, but explain why- are you really short on time? Money? Or you do you just need a break to be alone for a bit? I find the really good friends will respect that and like you more for it.

Teach me

There are just some things in life that need a teacher in order to be taught. Learning on your own through trial and error, looking up Youtube and other instructional videos, following recipes, reading books... for some tasks, these resources can only take you so far. I find that I learn a task the best when it is taught personally to me- I find it harder to forget afterwards and there's always an imprint of the process through which I learned. 

A teacher provides experience and guidance, something that can't always be achieved through text or even video on the internet. Having that person by you to correct your mistakes and to offer encouragement and advice boosts the rate of learning tremendously. I remember all the paper airplane designs my brother taught me when we were both young, even now...they have much deeper significance than the designs I learned through an hour of toiling and scratching my head over a page in a book.

It also helps if that teacher is someone you trust or can relate to. And you can relate to someone even if they are 20 years older than you, the thing is to share understanding. A good teacher will know what it feels like to be the student, to be in the situation where they are struggling and need pointers. They will know where all the pitfalls and shortcuts are, and can offer personal advice. But a good teacher doesn't need to be a hired tutor, or private coach, or have any sort of "qualifications"- often the best teachers are your peers and the people around you that you see every day. 

Thank goodness for friends

I don't think I would have made it this far in my life without my friends, let alone be alive... but seriously, I'm lucky to have so many good, loving people by my side. Have you ever been so down that nothing you did or tried would cheer yourself up? Your parents would ask you what's wrong, your siblings may have made a half-hearted attempt to say something, your favorite song doesn't re-energize you.... so what do you do? You pick up your phone, of course. Or go onto Skype or Facebook. Chances are you'll have that one friend who knows exactly how to pick you back up. And sometimes they do it without even realizing it. Just their inherent characteristics or speech patterns or corny repetitive jokes are enough to make you smile again.

I'm lucky to live three houses away from one of my friends. And I don't know what it was about today, but I was dead tired. Feeling lazy. So down in the dumps it couldn't have been smellier (okay, that was a weird sentence but I'll let it slide). I called my friend up to go on a run because if you're like me, you have zero chance of being motivated to run on your own. I once tried that... I brought out a soccer ball to juggle, thinking I'd go on a run after 5 minutes of warm-up. I never made it out of my driveway. Anyways, I almost cancelled it this time. I was in bed, half asleep, feeling horrible, but I made myself get up because my friend was expecting me.

I literally was still trying to open my eyes when I walked up to his house. But then he came out of his garage, with his short red-brown hair longer and lying flatter than usual. I haven't seen him in 3 weeks but it was great seeing him. Oh how those gingers can cheer one up xD We went on our run and I wanted to turn back during the first hundred steps, but after that I started to feel better, forgetting my lack of fitness while we chatted.

I finished the run with so much more energy than I started. My legs were a bit sore, but I was wide awake. A good friend can do that to do. Just being with them makes you feel better and more alive. Now, if only I could call a friend over every time I didn't feel like doing my homework...

My life.

What's one life out of almost 7 billion? Nothing, and yet everything.

I thought that the picture, though not exactly synonymous with this post, was a good addition nonetheless. Have you ever stood beside the ocean and just gazed out at the waves, stretching all the way out into the horizon, wondering how there could be such a big body of water right in front of you? Or laid on your back at night and stared at the stars, the endless expanse stretching out into space... Would anyone even care if I blogged about me, one insignificant life? Who cares about my personal life anyways?

But I guess some people might still find it fascinating. And I suppose the saying is "a penny for your thoughts." It's always interesting to see what other people's lives are like. For example, I really want to eat some cherries right now. Or go cherry-picking on a farm and climb trees, eating only the ripest ones that I can find. That sounds fun.

So in order to match the title, I suppose I could start listing things I’ve done in the past week or so in chronological order. Or maybe I’ll try to squeeze my full autobiography into this one post. Or perhaps you readers would prefer something simple and to the point, maybe along the lines of:

Typical teenage boy. Eats food. Fighting parents. Likes girl. Dealing with summer assignments. Sleep. Playing video games. Running for soccer. Looking for a job. Wants people to follow and leave nice comments on his blog. ^_^

That's a pretty good summary. But if you really want to know more about my life I guess you could talk to me. Or write me a letter. Or Facebook stalk me. Or send me emails. Or ask questions on my blog. Or send me subliminal secret messages through fortune cookies. Yeah, I'd be impressed with that last one.