Learning to Say No

There are a lot of little things in our daily lives that we could easily do without. Sometimes it's just a matter of learning how to say no. If you're anything like me, I try to please everyone around me. So much so that sometimes I forget to think about myself and my own responsibilities. If someone asks me a favor, I would likely drop whatever I'm doing to help them (or at least finish what I'm doing and then help them as soon as possible). If someone chats me on Facebook, I don't have the heart to tell them I was just about to log off, and so I keep up the conversation, using the same amount of energy to keep up the conversation as if they had chatted me when I had an hour of free time. "Hey, what's up? Good to see you too! I know, lol... *insert comments about random things that come to mind to keep the conversation flowing*"

So yeah. Learning to say no to certain things can be really helpful. And I'm not talking about saying no to drugs or the thing we learned in D.A.R.E. to say no to peer pressure (though seriously, say NO to drugs!! =].) It's smaller than that, and I find it's mostly self-pressure. For me, it's the pressure that if I say no, someone will be hurt or think less of me. But in actuality, that's not true at all. "Hey, do you want to go see a movie at noon today?" If I were faced with that from a friend and I ended up saying no, that friend might be a little bit disappointed, but they would probably still end up having a great time with some other friends. Same thing with the friend chatting with me on Facebook. If only I could say something like "Oops, I'm really sorry *name*, but I was about to log off. Catch you some other time?" then it would all be fine. I could get to doing what's important to me, and the friend will soon forget that tiny bit of rudeness.

I guess it's hardest to say no to your friends. (I was about to say that it is actually hardest to say no to yourself. But then I realized that's just self-control, which is a whole other topic =P) While sometimes saying no to your siblings lead to squabbles and conflicts, chances are they've lived around you enough to understand the reasons behind you saying no. With friends, they are mostly left guessing whether you said no because you don't want to talk to them, or if you really have something more urgent to do. So be a good friend and learn to say no, but explain why- are you really short on time? Money? Or you do you just need a break to be alone for a bit? I find the really good friends will respect that and like you more for it.

Spending Earned Money

You've just babysat for a week, painstakingly mowed two lawns in hundred degree weather, and finally saved enough to have a sizable allowance at hand. You're at the mall with some friends and walk past the Ice Cream and Desserts shop. Do you... a) Buy an extra large sundae with sprinkles, something you normally wouldn't be able to afford b) Buy the tiny kid-sized cone to join your friends or c) Refuse to spend money and later unabashedly try to mooch off your friends' sundaes.

Which did you answer? You all know the different types of people out there, the savers, the spenders, and the in-betweens. Sometimes the spenders have no self-control and end up going broke halfway through the week. But sometimes it's the savers that never know when to spend.

I've found that people who are overly thrifty are not as satisfied as the people who freely spend their earned money. I'm talking about people who almost hoard their savings, unwilling to spend even a fraction of it unless they deem it's the best usage of their money. I think this attitude to find the most "efficient" Money For Pleasure ratio actually backfires on people who do that on a regular basis. Unless you're saving up for something more important, weekly allowances are meant to be spent and enjoyed. The fact that you're earning it yourself makes it more valuable, but I see my friends are happiest when they get to spend it on something worthwhile (blowing it all on 50 cent kid rides and gumballs at the mall, for example, is not something I would say is worthwhile. But hey, if you're that kind of person, be my guest...).

If you never spend any money, you won't feel as satisfied with the work you've done to earn it. And plus, you're more fun to hang out with when you're not afraid of occasionally spending a good chunk of money. It all depends on the occasion, I guess. It sucks to be broke, but I think it sucks even more to save and save your allowance, only to have an anvil randomly drop on your head one day and have all your hard work go to waste ;)