White Blank Page (literally)

The fear of staring out into the unknown... the trepidation of starting a fresh new journey... the dread of marking up a pure, clean sheet of paper. Go ahead, look up at that graphic of a white blank page above these words. Let it strike fear into your heart. Have the untarnished whiteness swallow up your whole consciousness. Let it envelope your senses and numb your resolve.

No, it's not a white blank page as in a song by Mumford & Sons. It's an everyday, ordinary, piece of paper that you might grab to start your Math homework or a lined piece of loose leaf you take out to finally write an intro for that English essay you need to do. Or maybe instead it's a new "Document 1" on Microsoft word, the cursor blinking expectantly at you as you think of what to say, or the empty space in the text message box in your phone as you think of how to apologize to your girlfriend.

But get this- it's not actually the page that holds so much weight, that makes it tower like Goliath before you, that freezes you with indecision, but the fear of writing on that page. Writers face this monster all the time. So do artists as they stare at a blank canvas. Or composers who hear melodies in their head but don't know how to transfer it to paper. The reality is that everyone has a seed of doubt in them. Somewhere beneath all the motivation and drive and will, there is an uncertainty that latches onto your mind and stops you from committing to whatever it is you want to accomplish. People are afraid of imperfection, of creating something that is below their level of ability, of failing. They are afraid of the things that could go wrong, the things that won't live up to their perceived ideals. The fear of falling short of expectations is what really makes people hesitate.

It took me a while to get back to posting in this blog. Sure, I could use the excuse that I've been busy with school and sports, but there's not one hundred percent true. There were definitely times I had time but was afraid of taking the chance or afraid of risking the expectations that you, the reader, as well as myself, place on every character that I type here. But it doesn't just apply to writing. Athletes have to learn to pass over this moment of indecision. Freeze for a moment in a game and you're dead. My soccer coaches have told me again and again to not to be afraid of shooting because I might miss. "You'll miss 100% of the shots you never take," the saying goes.

But it never disappears. Every time I see a white, blank page I'm brought back to the brink. It's a moment of fear you have to conquer. Remind yourself that you don't have to be perfect. After all, I still think a page marked up with mistakes, failures, and sub-par material is ultimately more interesting than just a empty blank page.

Willpower vs. Fear - The Green Lantern

My last post about the alien robots who came down to Earth to well, run reminded me of The Green Lantern that I saw a couple of days ago in the theaters. So yeah, the moral of the movie was that the power of will is greater than the power of fear. It's awesome that they characterized it nice and simple with will being everything green and fear being this scary dark yellow. Sweet.

But as I was watching I realized there was some truth to it after all. I mean, fear can only compel you to do so much. And society today in the US is already past dictatorships and monarchies that force citizens to act out of fear. People don't always do their best when threatened, either. The best works and masterpieces always come from people who were internally motivated, motivated to do something because they believed it was important or worthwhile. Actions that are internally motivated have an intrinsic value that will overshadow anything that is externally forced or stimulated.

SPOILER ALERT:
So yeah, the movie was a bit cheesy but the humor and good action made up for it. I liked it overall, the characters were fitting, Blake Lively was hot as the pilot and female lead, and the pace was good. The only qualm that I had was how it ended: I felt it was a bit anti-climatic after the whole scene with the gathering of the Lanterns. I mean, I know Hal Jordan would be the one to eventually kill Parallax, but I expected a large-scale battle scene with all the Lanterns firing off cool green energy at once in space. And what was with Parallax's death?? It was cool to cycle back to the "the bigger you are the faster you burn" line and the stunt that Hal pulls off in the beginning, but it was way too lame for Parallax, who was supposedly once a guardian. There are a kajillion stars in the universe, did Parallax and the guardians really not encounter any in their whole existence to know how to avoid a star's gravity? Haha but that's just me, it was a good movie overall, and I'll be interested in seeing the sequel.